Where do I go now?

Who else out there feels like they don’t know where they want to go or what they want to do? Well, me too.

I (attempt) to try different things and go different places. I like to explore. I like new experiences.

But what came first? My thirst for novelty and adventure, and being okay with being a generalist, or is it my lack of ambition, direction, and inability to settle down in any one place and stay longer than a year in romantic relationships, jobs, living situations, etc. ?

I recently was having a conversation with my partner about this. I told him I was looking for work for trade situations in other locations, other than the location we are both living in now. His reaction to my genuine interest in wanting to leave and try something new, made me feel like maybe there is something further to investigate within myself.

He is quite the opposite of me in this way. He lives in his hometown and has the dream to be a firefighter and stay settled here for the foreseeable future and have a family. His dreams are noble and humble, and I respect them- for him.

But I am not sure if this is my dream. I like thrill. I like adventure. I like novelty.

So, now this begs the question: is there something broken within myself that needs to be fixed? Am I supposed to want to settle down with a full time job in one location and start a family? Why don’t I want that? Will I ever want this, one day?